It's Just
by reaper with no name
Summary: Re-L tries to rationalize her feelings for Vincent. Over and over again.
1. Chapter 1

Mwahahahaha! With this fic, one more than anyone else has posted (in English, anyway), I now proclaim myself King of English Ergo Proxy fics! I will rule this section with an iron fistful of Vincent/Re-L fluff! Bow down before me, my subjects!

Translation: Jeez, we really need more EP fics. I mean, 4 is all it takes?

* * *

She couldn't move. She couldn't speak. There was a…_Monster_ standing in her bathroom. And it was touching her. Tenderly. Almost lovingly.

Why? Why couldn't she move? Why couldn't she speak? She was terrified. Her heartbeat told her that. She should have been screaming. So why wasn't she?

'It's just…Shock,' she told herself. Yes, she was in shock. That's why she felt paralyzed. That's why her knees were weakening by the second. It was just shock…

* * *

"Daedalus, you have to do this for me!"

"Re-L, it's too dangerous! The world outside the dome is a toxic wasteland! Even if he survived the fall, he's long dead by now!"

"I don't care!" Re-L banged her fist down against the table. "I have to find him!"

"Re-L, why are you getting so emotional about this?"

This observation surprised her, and calmed her down a little. Staring at her fist on the table, she replied "It's just…Anger. That man is my only lead. Don't you understand, Daedalus?!" her voice had become raised again. "That man is the only chance I have of founding out the truth about Proxy!"

"Re-L…"

"Please, Daedalus. I need the aircraft and protection suit. I'm begging you."

* * *

"Re-L, we should really return to Romdeau and report what we've seen," Iggy advised.

"No, not yet. We still haven't learned the truth," Re-L replied, watching Vincent through the window of the aircraft she and Iggy occupied.

"But Re-L," Iggy protested. "If we don't go back soon, your grandfather will be angry."

"Let him be. Either way, he'll still be angry at me for leaving in the first place."

"But we're running out of fuel. And that man is dangerous-"

She cut him off. "I can handle myself, Iggy."

Iggy sighed. After a moment, he asked "Why are you so obsessed with that man?"

"I'm not sure," Re-L admitted. She thought for a moment. "I guess," she mused, "it's just…Curiosity."

"Curiosity?"

"Yes," she confirmed. "I need to know the truth, and that man is the key. That's all it is."

"Re-L, your heart rate's increasing."

"Mind your own business. Turing mode off."

* * *

Ugh, how could she have been so stupid? Of all the myriad methods she could have employed to distract him, why did she have to jump straight to kissing? And right after he confessed that he loved her, no less! Now he was going to get the wrong idea, and things would become even more complicated.

Then again, perhaps she could use this to her advantage. If Vincent believed he had a chance with her, he would be easier to manipulate. Still, why did she have to…

Deciding that such thoughts were pointless, Re-L put an end to them along with the kiss. 'It's just…Stupidity,' she thought. 'That's all.'

* * *

He was gone. Iggy, her beloved Entourage that she had programmed to be a perfect companion, was gone. And it was all her fault. If only she hadn't brought him along, or not ordered him to go back to Romdeau, or…

"Hey," came a soft, cautious voice. "Are you doing all right?"

'All right'? How dare he ask if she were 'all right'?! She had just lost her best friend! Her _only_ friend! And now she was alone. Alone and stuck with _him_.

"Get away from me!" she cried out, pushing him away and retreating into the interior of the Rabbit. She needed to be alone right now. She couldn't deal with this.

"Re-L…" Vincent whispered as he slowly entered the cabin.

"I said 'Get away!', you freak!" she yelled. "This is all your fault! Iggy's gone, and it's all because of you!"

A lie. He hadn't done anything. But still, he was visibly taken aback by her screaming. And probably hurt, too. She had never yelled at him like this before. Then again, she had never cried in front of him before, either. Except for that one night, when all of this started…

At that moment, everything hit her all at once, and she broke down into sobs. Before she knew what was happening, Vincent was hugging her. She tried to break free of his grasp, but her attempts were half-hearted at best.

"Shh…" he whispered to her. "It's all right, Re-L. Everything will be all right…"

Even more laughable than his attempts at calming her was the fact that they were working. Something about the way he held her was…Comforting. Had she really fallen so far? Was she really so weak without Iggy that this pitiful excuse for a man could make her feel better?

No. This was only temporary. Tomorrow she would wake up and be strong again. But this? This meant nothing. It was just grief. Yes, that's all it was. She could stand there and hug him for as long as she felt like and nothing would change.

'It's just…Grief,' she reminded herself over and over as she hugged Vincent tighter.


	2. Chapter 2

She had done many stupid things when it came to Vincent, but letting him do her hair had to be near the top of the list. Granted, with Iggy gone and the other auto-reiv unreliable, there were few alternatives. But regardless, she could already see disaster approaching.

No, she was being childish again. It was just her hair. She had no reason to be so uptight about him touching it. After all, she needed it done, and he could do it. It was just hair. Even _he_ couldn't screw it up.

She was blowing this whole thing out of proportion. She needed her hair done, and Vincent was willing to do it. So, she was having him do it. End of story. It was simple logic.

"It's just…Logic," she whispered, too quietly for anyone to hear.

* * *

The Rabbit had been immobile for over a week, and it was _COLD_. So cold, it seemed, that no amount of blankets would help. Trapping heat was only an effective strategy if there was some heat around to trap. What Re-L needed was a source.

Opening her eyes but not exiting the bed, Re-L's eyes scanned the room. To her disdain, the only viable heat source in the room appears to be the sleeping body on the floor next to her. Honestly, how could he sleep in this frigid cold?!

Knowing what she had to do, but unwilling to go through with it, Re-L had an internal battle. However, when the cold remained just as strong five minutes later, her weakened will relented. Right now, she needed to get warm. That was more important than her dignity. If necessary, she could always plead temporary insanity later.

"Vincent."

No response. She reached out a foot and nudged him.

"Vincent."

Still nothing. She was becoming frustrated. And impatient. That was a bad combination.

"Vincent!" her voice echoed through the cabin as she roughly kicked the sleeping man awake.

"Ow…" he rubbed his sore arm groggily. "What is it, Re-L?"

"Get over here. Bring your blankets. Don't ask questions."

Still half-asleep, Vincent did as he was told, gathering his sleeping possessions and stepping over to where Re-L's bed was.

"Ok, now what do you wa-AH!"

In a flash, Re-L had grabbed him and dragged him into her bed. Before his mind could process the situation, Re-L was huddling against his body for warmth under the covers. He was definitely awake now.

"Re-L, what's going on?" he asked, eyes wide as saucers.

"Shut up," Re-L snapped. "It's cold. You're warm. Move or try anything and you'll wake up with parts of your anatomy missing. Do you understand?"

Vincent nodded.

"Good. Now don't get the wrong idea about this. It's just...Necessity. That's all this is."

* * *

She had known that bringing Vincent into her bed that night so long ago was a mistake. What she hadn't known was that this would be the reason.

After a week of sleeping in the same bed with Vincent, the Rabbit was moving again and the cold weather had abated. This meant that there was no longer any reason for the two to share a bed. Unfortunately, she had grown accustomed to it, and now found it difficult to fall asleep on her own.

And so, tonight she had stolen Vincent's pillow. She couldn't figure out why, at the time. But now, as laid in bed hugging it, she began to realize why. It was comfortable. It also smelled like Vincent, but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.

She had almost managed to fall asleep when she heard Vincent's footsteps. She froze. Her eyes were closed, but it felt as if the sheer noise of her heartbeats would give away the fact that she was not yet asleep. What would he do? Would he "wake her up" to take it back? Would he notice she had it? Her back was to him, and the pillow was hidden under the covers, so perhaps he wouldn't notice.

"Huh. Where's my..." he trailed off. Re-L held her breath. This could very easily turn into an embarrassing situation.

Her unspoken prayers were answered when Vincent sighed and said "I guess I'll look for it tomorrow." Within minutes he was asleep. However, Re-L's thoughts continued to be dominated by what could have happened. What would she have said? She couldn't tell him the truth. What was the truth, anyway? She didn't even know why having his pillow with her made her feel better. She knew that she felt lonely at night without Vincent there with her, but…

Wait, _lonely_? She was _lonely_? It was a preposterous notion, but somehow she knew it to be true. She was lonely. The question was why. Well, that and why it was manifesting in a desire to have Vincent with her when she slept.

Her eyes shot open. No. It couldn't be true. _That_ could not be the reason. It had to be because of Iggy's absence. Yes, that was all it was. She was still suffering from what had happened to him. That was why she was so lonely.

The matter settled, Re-L closed her eyes and hugged Vincent's pillow. "It's just…Loneliness," she whispered as she drifted off to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

If Re-L hadn't hated beans before this journey began, she certainly hated them now. When this was over, if she never saw another bean again, it would be too soon. Honestly, why was it that everywhere they went they found more cans of beans? More importantly, why did they keep taking them?

These were the thoughts that floated through Re-L's mind as she sat down for dinner. It had been her day to cook, but Vincent had insisted on doing it himself.

However, when her plate was placed in front of her, she found to her surprise and delight that it contained not beans or pasta, but pizza. And it was homemade, too. One of her favorite things to eat.

She looked up at Vincent in shock. "How did you know?"

He nervously scratched the back of his head. "Ah, well…You let it slip once. About a month ago."

"And Pino helped!" the little auto-reiv said as she handed Re-L a bottle of Ginger Ale that must have been hidden somewhere to have escaped consumption for so long. Taking it, Re-L gave the auto-reiv a small pat on the head before turning her attention back to Vincent.

"Why did you go to all this trouble for me?"

"Because it's your birthday."

"What?"

"You let that slip, too, about three months ago."

"Slip" was hardly the word Re-L would have used. As she recalled, he had pestered her almost nonstop for the whole day until she gave in. Suddenly, she felt guilty for lying to him about the date. Someday, she would have to tell him when her birthday really was. Not today, though. Today, she'd let them enjoy their hard work. Before eating her meal, she gave Vincent a quick, light hug. After all, she wanted to encourage these sorts of behaviors.

"Is Re-L feeling all right?" Pino suddenly asked. "Her cheeks are all red."

Vincent laughed a little. "I think that means she's grateful. Right, Re-L?"

"Yes," Re-L responded. "It's just…Gratitude."

* * *

"Vincent! How many times do I have to tell you to put the seat down?!" Re-L yelled.

"Sorry…It won't happen again."

"That's what you said last time! And look where that got us!"

"…Sorry…"

"Is that all you have to say?!" she was becoming frustrated. It was no fun kicking around a man who wouldn't fight back. "Honestly, why don't you try defending yourself for once?!"

"I don't need to."

"What? What's that supposed to mean?!"

"Nothing," Vincent said as he began trekking back up to the deck.

"Hey! Get back here, Vincent Law! We're not finished yet!"

But he was already gone, and she didn't really feel like chasing after him right now. Sighing, she sat down and opened a bottle of Ginger Ale.

"Re-L?" came a small voice from behind her.

Shocked, Re-L nearly dropped her bottle as she whirled around. "Pino, don't do that!"

The ears on Pino's rabbit suit drooped. "Pino is sorry. Pino just wanted to know why Re-L and Vince like fighting so much."

"What? We don't like fighting, Pino."

"But Pino notices that Vince and Re-L always smile more on days when they fight. Pino even kept a list."

The small auto-reiv held up a piece of paper. Across the top were three small pictures. One was a drawing of Vincent, another was a drawing of Re-L, and a third was a drawing of a red boxing glove. For each day that the two had fought, there was a check mark under the glove. It was like a table, except instead of numbers there were smiley-faces. All in all, a creative way to make a point.

"All right, Pino. I get the idea. I guess it's just…Habit."

"Habit?"

"Yes. This journey is very stressful for both of us. Arguing is a method we use to relieve some of that tension."

"Oh, Pino knows another way!"

The little girl grabbed her crayons and began drawing again. A second later, the red boxing glove on her data chart had been transformed into a red heart. She showed it off proudly. Re-L glared at her. That only made Pino's smile wider.

* * *

Why did most auto-reivs infected with the Cogito virus decide that their new reason for existing involved killing humans on sight? She wasn't even close to escaping the collapsing dome yet, and already she had fought off more berserk machines than she knew Romdeau had.

But these were only passing thoughts. What her mind was really focused on was Vincent. She was worried about him. She cared about him. That was why she had made him promise to come back. But she wasn't sure why. It wasn't that she had a problem with any of it, but she just couldn't put her finger on _why_ she cared so much. She had learned the truth. She knew everything she needed to. She didn't really "need" Vincent any more. Sure, she liked having him around, but she knew with every fiber of her being that she cared too much about Vincent to just classify him as "some guy she liked having around". Heck, she cared more about Pino than that even when the little auto-reiv was at her most annoying!

So the question remained. What was Vincent to her? She didn't feel any sort of family connection to him like she had with Iggy. He wasn't just a friend. And she flatly refused to believe her interest in him was romantic. So what was left?

Re-L turned a corner and found herself face-to-face with an auto-reiv wielding a knife. She managed to dodge the first thrust, and didn't give it a chance to try for a second.

No injuries sustained this time, but the message was clear. This was no time for exploring her feelings. Vincent was her companion. That would have to do for the moment. At least until she got out of there.

"It's just…Companionship…For now."


	4. Chapter 4

Re-L was grappling with a feeling that she was not used to dealing with. Boredom. Observing Pino and Kristeva could only provide entertainment for so long. She would have much preferred to observe Vincent, for she had yet to find a suitable category to file him under, but he appeared to be just as bored as she was. No big loss. He did the same thing every day anyway. She would never learn anything more about him unless he was forced into an unusual situation.

An idea came to her regarding how to do that, but she quickly dismissed it as too humiliating. But then she recalled how last week he had finally caught her with his pillow. She was fairly certain she would never live that down. Oh well, it had been nice while it lasted.

So then another thought occurred to her: Why _not_? What did she have to lose? It wasn't like her dignity had recovered yet (or would for some time), so there was really no reason not to go through with it.

Her mind finally made up, Re-L stood and walked over to Vincent. Then, without any warning whatsoever, she kissed him. A second later, she pulled away and tried to gauge his reaction. It was a mixture of shock, confusion, embarrassment, and happiness. She had expected as much, but for some reason the result satisfied her all the same. Re-L walked back to where her diary sat and began writing about this event.

"Uhh…Re-L?" Vincent seemed to have recovered from his shock, but his nervousness was at an all-time high.

"What?"

"What was that about? And why are you writing about it in your diary?"

"Who said I was?"

"Well…It's…Um…Obvious."

"It's just…Boredom. I wanted to see how you would react to an unfamiliar situation."

"But…It's not unfamiliar. It happened once before, remember?"

Her pen stopped. "Close enough," she replied before continuing her writing.

* * *

"Why do you always have to wear clothes that are so hard to take off?" Vincent asked as he struggled to remove the dark outfit Re-L loved to wear.

"Because I like to see you squirm," she spat before kissing him again. Frustrated with his fumbling, she pulled off the shirt herself. One would expect him to have figured out how to do it by now. "There. Happy?"

"Very," he replied as he began trailing kisses down the soft flesh of her neck to her collarbone. Her breathing became more erratic. And then…Well, _that_ was a new trick. It showed he was learning _something_, at least. The first time had been so awkward. Pleasurable, but awkward. Now he was confident enough to experiment. Experiments were good. Which reminded her…

"Wait," she gasped with as much control as she could muster. "I need to get something."

But he wouldn't, so she had to do her best to ignore the intimate touches and kisses he was giving her as she reached under the bed and pulled out…

"Handcuffs?"

"I've been saving them."

"For who?"

"This time? You. Next time, who knows?"

In truth, she had an ulterior motive for using the handcuffs. As long as she kept things kinky, she could keep fooling herself. She could pretend that what they had wasn't serious. That she wasn't…Feeling anything beyond mere desire. Even if her confused heart told her differently, as long as she kept up this game…

As she handcuffed Vincent to the bed, she kept trying to convince herself: 'It's just…Lust. Nothing more.'

If only she could make herself believe it.

* * *

Some time later, an exhausted Re-L collapsed onto Vincent's body. With the last of her strength, she removed the ruined remnants of the handcuffs from Vincent's hands. He had accidentally broken them halfway through, and the two of them had had a good laugh about that.

But now, as she laid in Vincent's arms, the only thing Re-L could think about was her earlier classification of their relationship. She knew damn well there was more to this than lust.

"I love you, Re-L." Once again, there Vincent was with his bad timing. She could always count on that particular sentence to distract her from whatever she happened to be thinking about.

"I love you too, Vincent."

It wasn't until she felt his heartbeat quicken that she realized what she had just said. It had come so naturally. Without thought. It wasn't out of habit, or out of a feeling of guilt. She had just…Said it. She had said it to him as if it was no big deal. As if she had said it to him a thousand times before.

"Re-L…Did you mean that?"

Her heart caught in her throat.

"I…Did. Oh my God, I _do_ love you."

It was as if a light bulb had come on inside her head. All the mental walls she had constructed to hide this secret from herself were torn down in an instant. Her eyes were now wider than dinner plates.

Noting her stunned expression, Vincent laughed. "You mean you're only now realizing it?"

She stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Wow. And I thought _I_ had a messed-up psyche."

"Shut up."

The two laid together in silence for a few minutes, until Re-L broke it with "So…What happens now?"

"What do you mean 'what happens now'?" Vincent asked, perplexed. "We go on as we have been. It's just…Love. Nothing has to change."

A smile played at Re-L's lips. "When did you get so wise?"

Her only answer was another one of those endearing smiles of his.

"But you're right," she continued. "Nothing's changed. After all, it's been like this for quite some time. We…No, _I_ just never realized it. Thank you, Vincent. Thank you for waiting for me to come to my senses. Thank you…For not giving up."

"Are you two done yet? Pino and I are trying to re-enter sleep mode."

The two lovers winced as they recalled that Kristeva and Pino were on the Rabbit as well. And tonight's escapades hadn't exactly been…Silent. Blushing madly, the two decided to call it a night. After all, they had all the time in the world to talk about "mushy stuff". Right now, they needed some sleep. And there was no place more comfortable for each of them than the other's embrace.


End file.
